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There's something about Lubbock. Something other than the oppressive blue sky, the unavoidable cloud of shit-smell that occasionally engulfs the city, the flat, featureless landscape, or the preponderance of teen pregnancy, boredom, alcoholism, and God. There's music. Yes, indeed there is. The Hub City has spawned music like you wouldn't believe. Music loved by folks the world over. Even the real "King of Rock and Roll" came from Lubbock, and if you believe that (which you'd be a damn fool not to), then it ain't too much of a stretch to believe Lubbock is also home to the greatest country band that ever existed. That band is THE BEAUMONTS.


It wasn't too long ago that four of Lubbock's most loved veteran musicians decided the state of Texas country music was dismal at best, and horrifying at its worst. Somehow, over the last twenty years, it became acceptable for a group of frat-boys to show up in thrift-store AC/DC shirts, play half-ass Lynyrd Skynyrd tunes about drinking Lone Star and smoking weed, and call that "country." Well, good friends, THE BEAUMONTS didn't think that was "all that damn country" and decided to do something about it. What resulted was a juggernaut of essence, the trooest of troo cvntry, something akin to the creation of the universe, but with Telecasters. Behold, good friends, and delight in the majesty of THE BEAUMONTS!


TROY WAYNE DELCO (guitar, lead vocals) is an alcoholic and a deviant. "I sing bad because I need a drink, but can't have one because I'm on the antabuse. You could say the same's true of my guitar playin', but you'd be wrong." Having spent his entire life in Lubbock, Troy was in one of the cities' biggest acts in the 80's, "THE INSTABILATEENS." "We fucking ruled, but our singer got queer on us and joined another Lubbock band "The Nelsons." I ain't gonna name no names, because bygones are bygones, but it was just painful seeing him up there prancing around instead of crushing skulls like we did over at the "TEENS." We were never the same after that." Troy loves women, dogs, pills, and Telecasters. Troy also registered to vote while in jail. "I got demons, man, I fight 'em back every day with my music."


HOLLYWOOD STEVE VEGAS (lead guitar, back-up vocals) has been called "The baddest motherfucker on the South Plains, and probably in the world" by just about everybody. A classically trained musician, Steve spent his formative years backing up some of the most high-profile acts in the music business. "I spent about ten years with Kent Summerlin, played on and co-wrote"For Your Heart, I Surrender" then got into production while the band was at home. I did the first "PEACHFUZZER" record, which went platinum, plus a bunch of lesser-known stuff I am equally proud of." If you want to get into a spirited conversation with Steve, go ahead and ask him about his turtle sanctuary. "I got into rescuing turtles when we were on the road down in East Texas, and one night we were going down the highway and saw this big old snappin' turtle walking across the road. I made Troy stop and we captured him and took him back home in a beer cooler. Since then, I have rescued about 200 turtles. I try to find 'em homes, but mostly they end up in my back yard where the swimmin' pool used to be."


DON EARLE ROSEWOOD (city bass, back-up vocals) has a voice you can't help but recognize. "Yeah, I'm the voice of Big Sur Waterbeds, which was out at South Plains Mall from about '80-'89. We did about 50 commercials for them. I was working for the cable company and our voice talent was out sick, so they got me to do the voiceover on the first one, then kept me around for the rest. I get recognized quite a bit when I'm out, can't say it hasn't helped me from time to time!" Don Earle played bass for thirteen years during the '80's and '90's with Merkel Houlihan and the Wingwalkers, sharing the stage with some of the biggest show-bands of the era. "Back then, you could make a damn good living in a show band.We'd travel on the weekends, mostly on the retirement resort circuit, and be home for most of the week. Rent was cheap, plenty of single widows at the gigs, it was a different, golden time. They'll prescribe old people some of the wackiest shit, too. I guess it's just to shut 'em up, but one time this nice lady gave me a bottle of percodan, must of been a hundred of 'em, because I told her I burnt the roof of my mouth on her coffee! Those sure were the days!"


JIMMY NED MESSER (drums) is a longtime associate of Don Rosewood, and former salesman at Big Sur Waterbeds. "Don and them used to come around to make waterbed commercials. Don worked for the cable company, and they'd come in and shoot, he worked the camera and did the voiceovers. There was this asshole named Bruce Fox, he had a speech impediment and talked like Murderface from Metalocalypse, anyway, he was always there too, acting like he was directing the shoot or something. This Bruce Fox dude was always talkin' down to Don Earle, sometimes yellin' at him, and Don just went on in his Don Earle way like nothin' ever bothered him. One day when Bruce wasn't around I asked Don why he never just punched the shit out of 'ol Bruce, and he said "I don't need to..... because I'm fuckin' his wife." We were friends for life after that. We did some time in the Wingwalkers, saw the country together......" Jimmy Ned credits THE BEAUMONTS for bringing him back to music after a long leave of absence. "I saw what was going on in country music and just figured if that was what the people wanted, I was gonna have to do something else. In my mind, red dirt is something you get in your underwear from doin' it in a cotton patch, not a fashion show for fancyboys to show off their designer jeans. If you're gonna rock, turn that shit up all the way and go, same with country. Respect the music. THE BEAUMONTS do that, and I wouldn't be with any outfit that didn't."


And Special Guest, from Colorado City, Texas:

CHIP NORTHCUTT (pedal steel, lap steel, slide guitar) doesn't give one shit, not one. "I am from Colorado City, Texas, that oughta tell you all you need to know. I have friends who have actually had marital relations with sotospeak "entities other than the homo-sapien," hell I might have myself, but can't swear to it, I've woke up in some unusual places." Chip is a third generation musician with quite a pedigree: "My Granddad played banjo and guitar on the Louisiana Hayride, my Dad was a fiddle player with Purl Langhorn and Osteen Robeson back before I was born. I took the torch offa the old man and went out to the East coast to make my bones, but ended up back here in Lubbock in the late 70's after the disco and punk took over out there. Right about the time I got home, fuckin' "Urban Cowboy" came out, and country bands were springing up all over the place. Fuckin' people in New York City were starting country bands, it was ridiculous. I stuck around Lubbock and C-City, eventually finding my groove playing with dance bands on the weekends and working as a gunsmith during the week. You'd be surprised how many times being a gunsmith has come in handy on the road with THE BEAUMONTS, real surprised."


So, you see what I mean? THE BEAUMONTS are here to save us all, not just those of us fortunate enough to call Lubbock home, but all of us. So, enough of this hibbidy-jib. Put on your dancin' shoes, put a call in to your best girl, and get the bail money down from the closet, because THE BEAUMONTS are comin' to your town, and you're gonna need to be ready. Are you ready? Well, all right, here we go. One, two, aonetwothreefour........


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